How couples can agree on a baby name (without fighting)

A simple framework for choosing a baby name as a couple — and why most lists make it harder, not easier.

Most couples start with a list of 200 names and end with a fight. The problem isn't the names — it's the format.

Lists put both partners in the same conversation, in real time, defending their picks out loud. Every "no" feels personal. Every "maybe" feels like a stall.

The fix is to separate the choosing from the discussing. Each partner reviews names in private, marks what they like, and only the overlap surfaces. No one knows what the other rejected. There's nothing to defend.

This is exactly how BabyGen works: you and your partner swipe independently, and the app reveals only mutual matches. The shortlist arrives ready, with everything controversial already filtered out.

Three tips that help, regardless of the tool:

1. Set hard filters first (gender, language, vibe) — narrowing the universe stops 80% of disagreements before they start. 2. Don't talk about specific names until you have at least 5 mutual matches. The conversation gets dramatically easier when there's already common ground. 3. If you're stuck, swap "no" for "not yet". A name parked today often comes back as a yes after a week of living with it.